February: Real Self-Care

In February, we left the face masks and scented candles behind to explore Dr. Pooja Lakshmin's book, "Real Self-Care: A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included).

We explored the concept of self-care as an internal transformative process focused on long-term well-being and personal empowerment.

The true self-care we are talking about goes beyond the micro-moments of relaxation we fit in daily or the couple times a year that we might sign up for a wellness retreat somewhere escaping from our normal grind knowing the other 50 weeks of a year we live in an all out sprint.

Although countries around the world have varied degrees of paid-time leave and other built-in quality of life policies, here in the US, we have plenty of room for growth.

Yes, we love a good body cleanse and are huge fans of bubble baths, however, these are not replacements for addressing the deeper rooted issues connected with our overall well-being in the exploration of what it means to be well in this life-time.

To embody real self-care, we have to become self-aware. Understanding our values, needs, and boundaries are crucial. This involves honest reflection and challenging societal pressures that may lead to self-sacrifice, ultimately leading to the breakdown of the physical, mental and Spiritual body.

We must assess our relationship with healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries with life, work, family and, yes, even own minds. Learning the art of saying “no” and having enough capacity for the unpleasant reactions of others who have feelings about our non-compliance is essential on the road to choosing what being well looks like and sounds like for ourselves. Know that this uncomfort is only a reflection of where that individual is with their own relationship with the health of their own wellness journey.

This isn’t about creating so many boundaries in life that we are then entrapped by them. It's the path to an honest assessment of what is working for us and what is no longer working. It’s finding courage to disappoint others before ever disappointing ourselves; besides you are the only one that lives with you completely. To truly give from our extra merit, we have to be honest with ourselves on what it actually takes to continually refill our own cups. That is the road to self-love. That is the road to self-compassion.

We looked at strategies to navigate demanding life situations and explore the path in establishing these healthy boundaries amongst our relationships and any environments we float in and out of.

The practice of healthy habits that nourish our body, mind and Spirit go hand-in-hand. If at its baseline we are not prioritizing our sleep, rest and nutrition, getting to a place to reassess what’s working and not working for us on our path to self-defined health, proposes challenges.

We spent a fair amount of time talking through the importance of combating self-compassion fatigue through the lens of societal expectations on women. Women are notorious for constantly prioritizing the needs of others before prioritizing their own needs. Perhaps one of the most infamous lines of the book is quoting sociologist Jessica Calarco, "Other countries have social safety nets. The U.S. has women."

We challenged this narrative and zeroed in on how cultivating real self-compassion in our lives is a cornerstone of an embodied self-care walk that brings about real change.

Real self-care doesn’t stop at the individual level of well-being. Real self-care advocates for creating positive changes in community and in all of our collective surroundings.

Unhealthy oppressive systems and culturally accepted societal norms can and do hinder self-care. We encouraged one another to identify and address these external factors within our personal lives and at the community level that contribute to ongoing stress and burnout.

Beyond identifying the problems at hand, Lakshmin equips us with practical tools and exercises to implement these concepts into our daily life.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to conform to superficial self-care trends and are feeling depletion from the all out sprint of life, this conversation is a breath of fresh air with tangible exercises to explore where in your life you can take back control and begin to author your own destiny.

This level of conversation is often trivialized within the walls of corporate America. Instead, this real self-care journey empowers us all to embark on a transformative journey towards inward self-discovery, resilience, and a life aligned with the values we define for ourselves, not those passed down to us.

Next up - March! We’ll dive into Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle on Friday, March 29th with special guest, Coach Niks! Coach Niks knows something about burnout and what it means to reclaim your entire life by letting everything that is not working any longer all go. She’s a true gem, one of my first lead mentors professionally and beloved friend to all. Her heart is gold. Not to be missed!

I’d love to see you there and continue the exploration of what it means to be well to you.

Take care of you today.

Be well and be love,

Kara

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